Dear Friend

I dedicate this write-up for those who abandoned by their friends and for those who continue to love and consider them as friends even though they’re already rejected and neglected by them.

 Dear Friend,

            In friendship, I believe in this philosophy which states; a friend is someone capable of perfecting my imperfections, fulfilling me, revealing to me who I am because you are my friend, because you love me, because you are my personal good and I am also your personal good, and because you make me conscious of loving and arouses within me a sense of wonder and admiration.  Hence, you are so important to me because you make my joy and my being complete.   This is how I consider you not just as a friend but a person who has capacities and uniqueness.  I trust you, I believe in you, and I respect you because you also did these to me.  Because of you everything has changed into my life.  You free me from my sorrows and sadness.  You help me to appreciate my uniqueness and also my weaknesses.  Indeed, you’re such a good friend to me and you’re always saying to me whenever we talk; when you feel down and troubled and you need a person to talk and to be your crying shoulder, just call out my name and I’ll be listening to you and I’ll be at your side as your crying shoulder.

Suddenly, as time goes by, I cannot but be amazed and surprised that these things will be just a part of happy memories inside my mind.  What happened?  Why things have changed in our friendship?  I thought everything will be okay and fine, but why there’s an abrupt amendment on our friendship?  Why you suddenly left me behind without any reason at all?  Have I hurt you that’s why you left me alone in my loneliness?  I cannot feel you anymore.  I cannot understand why all of a sudden you break my heart and confuse my mind into uncertainties.  Before, everything is overwhelming and wonderful when we are together as friends sharing our own insights about love and relationship; but now out of the blue you faded away without any manifestations.  This is a sad reality that unrecognizable and unacceptable.  I cannot but cry and ask the heavens why these things are happening to me?  Did I commit something wrong to you, my friend?

In this experience I realized that the most painful and hurting experience in the life of the person is to be left behind by a friend without any reason at all.  It’s more horrible than a break-up, and more horrifying and despairing than a simple rejection.  It’s like a slap on my innocence when you reject me and you left me suffering on my own grief and anxieties.  Why? This is the only question that my mind and my heart cried out when you now avoid me and consider me as nobody.

Even if you treat me as nobody or as an insignificant person I will still consider you and love you as a friend.  You’re still significant into my life.  Yes, I am in pain now, but I will never regret that you became an important part in my growth and in my existence.  You’ll always be in my heart no matter how excruciating the loneliness and sadness that you have given me.  You’ll always be a friend to me; capable  of perfecting my imperfections, fulfilling me, revealing to me who I am, my personal good, and a person who makes me conscious of loving and rouses within me a sense of wonder and admiration.  Though how many times you forget me and reject me as you friend, in my heart, I will always consider you as my friend; a special and unique friend to me.

Sincerely Yours,

 An Insignificant Friend of yours.

On Battling our Weaknesses

When I always encounter the word ‘weak’, I cannot but be affected on it.   It simply reminds me that I am a person who is limited and capable of committing mistakes.  But, as I kept on accepting the fact that together with my strengths I have also weaknesses into my life, sometimes I asked myself; why is it hard to reconcile into our lives that our weaknesses could also be an occurring issue?  Why is it hard to escape in this reality?

It’s really hard to settle the fact that we are limited on certain aspects in life.  It’s also undeniable that we sometimes fall on our weaknesses when the struggles for authenticity and perfection become so tough and demanding.  Henceforth, we cannot but cry and grieve when several of our weaknesses haunt us and full us down.  After the tears and sorrows, we easily give up and be complacent with ourselves by saying these words; “I cannot move on because I am weak.  I am tired and hopeless in improving myself because nothing happens.  So, it’s better for me to give in to my weaknesses and just consider it as a normal thing.”  Having this kind of perspective is not a healthy disposition.  This unhealthy disposition will fall us into a negative attitude called mediocrity.  Mediocrity is one of the enemies of optimism.  It destroys our capacity to see the good things in us despite the fact that we have shortcomings and weaknesses in life.  To be honest, when my weaknesses strike me and thump me below the belt, I cannot but escape the reality of acceptance and be mediocre about it.  Later, I realized that the more I become mediocre about my weaknesses the more I become pessimistic about myself.  And that’s what makes me more vulnerable and prone to distrusting myself.

Yes, we are born with certain weaknesses into our lives.  But, our weaknesses are not an indicator for us to give up and improve ourselves.  There are still rooms for improvements and changes in our lives; all we need to do is to find those rooms through optimism and self-introspection.  This may take a lot of our perseverance and courage, but it assures something good and pleasing later on.  I myself could say, that this kind of challenge beneficial into my life.  Only through accepting this kind of challenge I would realize that recognizing my weaknesses is an important factor for strengthening my faith and trust.  Indeed, St. Paul is correct in saying that there’s strength in every weaknesses that we have.  The invitation of St. Paul for me and for all of us is not to be afraid to boast our own weaknesses and to consider it as our boost to move on and persevere in our daily struggles.  Every day, we engage ourselves in an endless battle of conquering our weaknesses.  The only necessary thing as we face this reality is this; DON’T GIVE UP.  Only in not giving up we realize that our weaknesses will lead us into something we aspire for, i.e. eternal bliss that gives LOVE to our restless hearts.

Let not our hearts be restless when our weaknesses strike us back.  Let it be; Accept it; Stay humble, and for sure it will lead us to something good, pleasing, and perfect.

#tidbitsforlife (On Star-gazing and God’s Consolation)

When I am down and weary I am fond of gazing on the stars in the evening sky.  As I gaze my eyes towards the magnificence of the stars, I cannot but let my eyes move into tears.  Actually, I consider this experience as a consolation.  Each and every one of us are longing for consolation whenever trials, anxieties, and weariness challenges our lives.  Indeed, I consider it as the beauty of our existence.  Consolation uplifts us, boosts our morale, and strengthens our faith despite the fact that we sometimes fall short in every opportunity we encounter in life.  It also serves as our means to see ourselves unique and significant in the midst of our weaknesses and brokenness.

As I gaze my eyes towards the stars, I cannot but utter the words that comes from my heart; O how good to be consoled by God’s loving embrace when life seems so naive.  And from this I realized that once you open up your heart to the consolation of God’s love it will always grant you courage.  Thus, consolation cast out all fears and burdens in life.  Though we feel unworthy to be consoled, let us not be controlled by our unworthiness, rather let us always consider that through consolation “ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, and ain’t no river wild enough” which would separate us from the goodness of God’s loving kindness.

#tidbitsforlife (On Diligence and Success)

Diligence is a key for every man’s success.  If you don’t have it yet, nurture it and let it grow into your life.  Success will never be an impossible path for us who struggle for a living if and only if we value the importance of diligence into our lives.  As I reflect upon its distinctive role into our everyday struggle, I remember the inspirational words of Thomas Alva Edison when he was doing his very best to come up with a successful light bulb invention; I have not failed 10, 000 times.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.  Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.  Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% inspiration.  This insight of him shows to us what it means to be diligent in life.  Diligence is not just a matter of effort, but it is also a matter of the heart.  We achieve something in life not because of our greatness, but because of diligence that we need always to nourish, to consider, and to give importance everyday.  We should not be afraid when our failures are more than our success in life.  When we failed, add more diligence still and for sure the path of success will always be near into our lives.  Relating this to my personal experience, I testify that diligence really helped me a lot in terms of learning a new knowledge and lesson for my life.  I could say that I am weak in terms of learning, but through diligence I realize that learning new things in life is possible.  All I need to do is to be open with a lot of opportunities that diligence is offering to me.  Hence, this experience of mine would validate the fact that diligence is an essential factor for living.  It is a God-given gift that imprinted into our hearts, and all we need to do is to use it with a proper motivation and dedication.

#tidbitsforlife (The Quest for Change)

There are so many things in our lives that we need to change and reform especially our own weaknesses which are something innate in us.  As we do our best to change and reform it seriously and sincerely, it seems that it is already an inescapable reality that we fail sometimes as we let ourselves to be subdued by the process of change and reformation.  So, our reaction with that situation when it comes to our lives is to be impatient with ourselves and to give up.  I myself also experienced restlessness in my heart when the situation is already becoming critical and obscure.  From that experience, this is what I realized; change is not a personal affair, but God’s initiative.  We cannot withstand its consequences unless we direct our hearts and minds to the promptings of God’s invitation to transform our lives.  We must always remember whenever we experience difficulties and challenges as we do our best to change and reform our lives, just continue to persevere, don’t give up, and make it also as your little offering to God in order that He may also guide and help us.  Though change may sometimes a burden, always remember also that once you open up everything to God, just believe and everything will be okay and be directed according to what we aspire for in our lives.

On Loving our Weaknesses and Fragilities

Looking back to my past experiences, I cannot but ask myself; how far have I give in considering those things and instances in my life which made me aware of my own fragility? Indeed, I could say that somehow I improve, and I cannot also deny the fact that there are things in my life that I really need to pay attention too. As I reflect upon and look back on my past experiences in life, I realize that my own brokenness is not something to be ashamed of, but it is something to be proud of. For me, to be born weak and fragile is a grace because it leads me to see the immensity of God’s love more clearly and more closely if and only if I really accept into my life that I too am weak and broken.

At first, I cannot really accept the fact that I was born weak and fragile like many others because I am afraid to commit mistakes and failures on some aspects in my life. I am a perfectionist before. I would really make sure that everything is okay and according to my standards and expectations. But this is not always the case. I still commit failures and mistakes despite the fact that I really strive to do it well. So, I ended up frustrated in life. From this experience I realize that I cannot please everyone in my own effort and diligence. I am just a limited being who needs to be corrected and to be improved.

Those who say that the weak has no place in this world are those who do not know how to accept and forgive themselves totally. They are those who distort their own identity and are dishonest in front of others. I am proud that I was born weak and fragile. Because of my weaknesses and fragility, I became more considerate towards others. My weaknesses and fragility help me really have a better perspective in life. Hence, St. Paul is right in saying that there’s strength within our weaknesses and fragility, and the only thing that we should do in order to recognize it is to appreciate it and welcome it into our lives.

We should not be terrified whenever one day we realize that we are weak and fragile. Rather, we should be proud of it because though we are weak, God consider us as earthen vessels of His grace. God’s love is sufficient and enough for us even though we are weak and fragile because He does not play favorites. Why we should be ashamed of ourselves if God is so proud to us although we fail Him for so many times? Why doubt with yourself if God considers you as an apple of His eye simply because you are unique? We should not be naive with ourselves; rather we should always remember that even if we are born imperfect God will never abandon us. If God regard us significant into His heart, let us not stumble on the idea that we are nothing; we have something to be happy about despite the fact that we fail so many times. Hence, we should not forget that we are adequately considered unique persons who are full of potentials and capacities even though in some aspects we are bound to be vulnerable.

“Humility”

Is there something so great and so impressive in me that I could boast in Christ?  Comparing myself and my achievements to what Christ has done for mankind, I am just a pinch of sand.  But, what is so impressive about Him is that despite the greatness of His works he humbled Himself.  Reflecting upon His works and deeds, I admit that I can’t understand what Christ wants to tell me about humility because there are some points in his works and deeds that somehow disagrees in my perspective.  But allowing it to speak on my own perspective, I realize that Humility doesn’t depend upon my perspective.  Humility is the perspective of Christ.

Reflecting upon His works and deeds, Christ is inviting me and challenging me to abide on His perspective. I admit it is hard to be humble like Christ because I cannot deny that I have the tendency of boasting my achievements, success, fame and goodness in life.  However, despite the difficulties of abiding my perspective in Christ’s perspective, Christ assures that if I will just do my very best to lay down my own perspective of humility with him, to abide in His humility, is not a burdensome.  Practicing Christ’s humility is not a one-night practice but a lifetime assignment and exercise.

After being inspired and challenged by Christ’s works and deeds, I remember what St. Paul said in his second letter to the Corinthians; “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that how my weaknesses.”  This is so far my answer to my question that I have on my mind on how I will start practicing Christ’s humility in life.  I have just thought that nothing compares to the greatness of Christ’s humility that even if He is so great, He humbled Himself.  From this I realized, we cannot humble ourselves without Christ for he is the clearest description or definition of the word “Humility.”  Without Christ, humility cannot be defined or be described itself.

“Dark Nights”

There’s a maxim that goes like this, “Life can only be lived forward, but it can only be understood backward.”  Yesterday, while I was browsing on my old journal notebooks, I found out an interesting entry that I wrote last September 11, 2009, titled “Dark Nights.” As I read it, I was captivated because of the realization that I wrote from an experience that I encountered.  I was a postulant that time, discerning my vocation journey yet suffering from an emotional distress, which I faced bravely and sincerely with the help of my good and motherly mentor and formator Ma’am Heidi. Please allow me to share this humbling entry that I wrote in my old journal notebook last September 11, 2009:

                While Ma’am Heidi is explaining and discussing to us postulants the Dark Night, I went back and recall my recent dark nights.  As I am pondering it deeply, I realize that “dark nights” helped me to understand my weaknesses and draw backs in life.  It is impossible for me to count now how many experiences of “dark nights” I encountered for the past years of growing and advancing in age in the seminary.  But, I just realized now, “dark nights” are necessary in life for it reminds me that God is important in my life and in every decision that I take. What an irony to say; In every “dark night” that I experienced in life and that I am experiencing right now, God is presently showing his love in me and in my decision makings, yet living a life together with “dark nights” make me distant with the love and goodness of God.   However, taking into consideration this realization, I just become aware that there’s no easy way for a good and happy life.  All options in life have its consequences.  The real meaning of life is not on its happiness and goodness alone, but it is on how we take our dark nights which brings consequences and challenges in life.  Today, I’ve learned that to live life in the fullest amidst dark nights is a matter of decision.  If decisions are governed by patience, perseverance, prayer, communication, connectivity, and openness, people will understand better that there are no wrong decisions in life.  If people know how to handle the dark nights and the consequences of the decision that they take, for sure, there will be no regrets and feeling of resentment at all.  Dark nights may be hard to accept and to hold on, yet every dark cold night has stars that shine and glimmers.  It is the same with our dark nights in life.  Be not afraid with our dark nights in life for in every dark night there is a hope that brings encouragement and trust in God.