Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney?

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I don’t like to spoil this Valentine’s Day with bitter aphorisms and insights about love. However, what does the title of my reflection for this wonderful event wants to pertain? Obviously it’s the title of the late Whitney Houston’s song for broken-hearts. This song is like a potion or a spell that every time we hear it we cannot but emote and say; “truly, love is demanding!” Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney? A question that continuously boggling my mind while listening to this song, writing this reflection and pondering this occasion. We all know that Valentine’s Day for the broken-hearted people is a day of remorse. Seriously, where do broken hearts really go? Some prefer to just stay at home, have a long nap during the day. Others just enjoy BY doing so many work-related preoccupations. But I know some who prefer to spend heart’s day watching Japanese horror movies, enjoying me time #loveyourself, some are die-hard advocates of Banned Feb 14 because they want to believe that Feb 14 does not exists in the calendar. Why? Because of the undeniable fact that they are sensitive enough to be affected seeing lovers happily spending the most romantic day of the year. Sounds ridiculous right?! But there’s a reality called broken-heartedness in love.

Is heart meant to be broken when it found the right love? But, is there really such terms called right love, wrong love? For me, our hearts are also meant to be broken. Perhaps you disagree about this, but why do I say so? Love does not do and go wrong. We are the ones labeling it whether it falls on the right or wrong depending on our wants and needs. We control to feel the love and I think there’s something wrong about it. Because from there, we are afraid of what we think “unnecessary pain” may cause our hearts to be broken in loving. Indeed, there’s a need for our hearts to experience broken-heartedness. Why? The right kind of love accepts pain. Every heart aches allow us to experience and realize how to love more deeply and maturely. Every wound creates spaces and better opportunities for love. And so, letting ourselves to experience broken-heartedness in love is essential. It make us realize that love is all about growing-up and allowing yourself to mold by the promptings of it. Henceforth, where do broken hearts go? For me, broken hearts must go to place that is suitable for calm and serenity. A refuge for instance, a place where broken hearts may be able to mend their selves through acceptance and growth. So, when love persists grow up, move on, and let go in order to start all over again because love brings infinite avenues of possibilities of loving with persistence and perseverance once again.

The Potter’s Hand

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A famous pot maker artist was interviewed in a talk show. The host asked him, “Your works are really impressive, unique, creative, and aesthetic. Indeed, I am convinced that your pots are really world-class masterpiece. To inspire our audience and tele-viewers by your success, I would like to ask this question, what’s your secret in making such artistic pots?” The pot maker artist smiled at the host and said, “Every time I make pots I always consider myself as a clay.” “C’mon you’re kidding!” the host said with a vibrant laugh. The pot maker artist responded, “Yes it’s true. A clay is filthy, dirty, and muddy. Sometimes it has a foul smell too. But, once I started to use it for pot-making I don’t mind those things anymore. In spite of its filthiness, dirtiness, muddiness, and foul smell I see to it that the best, artistic, and world-class pot will come out. Just like me for instance. Yes, today I might be a well-known successful and prominent artist because of my works but behind my success, were a lot of failures, rejections, and oppositions in life. However, I chose to move forward despite of my limitations and shortcomings. Every time I persevere on my passion in life I started too realized not to focus on my inadequacy, but to the positive traits, talents and the goodness within me instead. Hence, the secret is TO let failures, shortcomings, limitations, rejections, and oppositions be the potter’s hands of your life. Accept it. Because it makes you humble, and it molds you to be the best, artistic, and world-class version of yourself just like the works of arts.” The audience and the host were stunned and gave him a warm of applause by his inspiring words.

 

Stories from the Heart (True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives)

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A famous preacher shared a parable about love to his avid audience: A hesitant lover went out to visit his beloved. He knocked at her office door and somebody opened it. He noticed that she was too busy in editing the works of her students so he just greeted her “hi” and “how are you”. His beloved smiled at him and asked; “Aren’t you busy today?” “Yes, I just dropped by to greet you. He replied. “I will be going back to my duties in a while to meet the deadline.” He added. She looked at him with eagerness and said; “Are you willing to wait for me? I really need to talk to you.” Hesitantly, he paused for a moment and said indecisively; “I…do don’….don’t know if I can and may be able to wait for you because I am also too busy just like you.” But, his beloved insisted; “Please wait for me. I really need to talk to you. I will meet you downstairs when I’m done.” “Will see” he replied and immediately went back to do his duties. As he walked down the stairs, he accidentally met a very familiar man. He knew him of course. That man is her first love. They exchanged look as they passed each other. While he was doing his work he suddenly stopped and pondered, asking himself quietly; “Do I really need to wait and to talk to her? After she rejected me and inflicted me with pain and anguish, now she is willing to talk to me. Do I really have to?” As these thoughts continuously boggling his mind, he stopped from what he was doing and decided to wait for her anyway. One…Two…Three hours of waiting, no signs of her presence until he received an SMS from her, he read; “I am sorry if I wasn’t able to talk to you. I needed to go home”. He went away with a heavy heart, feeling dejected. He knew the reason behind. She won’t tell but he knew why. “LIAR!” was what his mind was shouting.

“Who loved much, the hesitant lover or his beloved?” The avid audience responded in silence for they didn’t understand what the preacher was talking about. The preacher exclaimed his words vibrantly and with conviction; “I know you can’t relate and understand the essence of love on the parable that I’ve shared with you today because it’s just an ordinary parable; typical and nothing new. But, I would like to reveal something about that each and every one always ignore, True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives. If you’re really convinced to love, you really prioritize others even though you feel uneasy and perturbed on them because you care. To say “I don’t care” to someone is tantamount to rejection. The hesitant lover loves more than the beloved. Even though he was busy he was still willing to talk to her, he chose to wait because he cares and still loves her despite of the hopelessness of loving her. On the contrary, we are sometimes like the beloved. We sometimes tend to forget to fulfill our word of honor for others because we easily fall on the trap on prioritizing of what we think is more convenient and important. We don’t prioritize to love those whom we labeled as insignificant, and unimportant into our lives. Remember this my dear audience; if you want to consider Love as a priority, don’t discard and reject others whom you consider as insignificant, and unimportant in your lives. There are too like you, struggling to love and longing to be loved. The more you reject others, the more you reject yourself”.

On Patience…Patience… and Patience

Heavy traffic in EDSA, long queue in the MRT or LRT waiting for someone for almost an hour, processing important documents and papers in some gov’t offices, choleric co-workers, uncooperative colleagues, demanding husband or wife, stubborn, rebellious children, waiting for the one true love, and so on. These are some of the many examples that irritates us and test our patience. It’s really difficult to be patient nowadays, looking upon our situation that we are living; a complex world full of impulse, stress, and anxiety. However, why is it so important to be patient amidst these realities? Why patience is still consider as one of the significant Christian virtues despite the undeniable fact that we are living in a compulsive-kind of world?

In a world filled with discourteous and rude drivers in streets, selfishness, individual differences that cause conflicts with co- workers and the constant demands of children and family, we often need patience just to keep it together. But, how? Here are the three things that we should consider about patience as a Christian virtue; (1) Patience understands and trusts God’s perspective. How many times have we lost our patience in God because of the trials that we felt was so unfair? The tendency is, we put the blame on Him, we complain, and we walked away from Him when we can’t bear the struggle anymore. But, have you ever noticed that in bearing it and keeping control over the impulse of it, we recognize that He understands us and we put our trust in Him? Thus, when trials come, be patient and hold on to Him. He understands our needs far better than we do. As much as we know what we want, He knows what is truly best! It is good that we allow us to be guided by these words coming from the book of Lamentations; “The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD” (Lamentations 3:25-26). (2) Patience loves and respects others. One of our biggest challenges in life is trying to exercise patience in our relationships with others. We easily become annoyed when we encounter ill-mannered and difficult individuals. However, being fretful will not be a good means to treat them with love and respect. Remember; Jesus shows his patience with love and respect even to the die-hard sinners of His time. It’s hard to live life in the fullest when impatience overrules our lives. It’s also hard to gain trust from others when we let ourselves be controlled by being impatient. Many serious quarrel starts with or short temper over little annoyances or inconveniences. Hence, we must really exercise patience in order that we may love and respect others. Having this kind of patience that pertains to love and respect others truly treasures them and revered them in spite of their shortcomings. Let’s consider 1 Corinthians 13:4; In 1 Corinthians 13:4 we are told that love “suffers long,” or is patient. The passage goes on to describe how love is not selfish, prideful or rude, because it is after the welfare of someone else. Love is the basis, and patience is part of that process. (3) Patience encourages us to stand up with optimism amidst trials. This is another important reason why we really need to practice it in facing our trials and difficulties in life. In order that we may be able to consider patience as an encouragement, we must really cope with our daily annoyances and hardships without complaint and with optimism, knowing that God’s providence does not really permit any trial that will not be a source of good for us if endured unwearyingly. Hence, let us be inspired and fortified by the words of the Letter of James; “Brethren, you will always have your trials but, when they come, try to treat them as a happy privilege; you understand that your faith is only put to the test to make you patient, but patience too is to have its practical results so that you will become fully-developed, complete, with nothing wanting.” (James 1:2)

There is an old Dutch proverb that says, “A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.” We can’t deny the fact that in our experience it often shows that a patient person will always make better decisions and see more favorable and positive outcomes in life than a very intelligent person who doesn’t have the patience to wait for the right time and opportunity. However, how may we be able to attain better decisions and to be more positive in life despite the oppositions and hostilities that we encounter every day? Let’s always remember and consider three things why we really need to practice patience daily; (1) it understands and trusts God’s perspective, (2) it loves and respects others, and (3) it encourages us to stand up with optimism amidst trials. We ask the Lord who is very patience on us that He may grant us the grace to really practice patience as a very important Christian virtue for our lives wholeheartedly.

Stories from the Heart (True Love is always open arms)

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A young disciple asked his master about true love. Master, what is the best thing to do in order to know and experience true love? The master said; stand up and stretch out your arms. What do you feel? I feel the coolness of soft breeze touching my body, the young disciple exclaimed. Again, the master said; now, embrace yourself. What do you feel?” I feel the heat of my body. I feel myself, the young disciple blurted out. Good, the master said with a smile on his face. The young disciple scratched his head and bewildered on the answer of his master and said; master it seems you didn’t answer my question. You just told me to stretch out my arms wide open and embraced myself, and I found that ridiculous. Then, the master explained with a beautiful smile on his face; what’s ridiculous with what I instructed you to do? Hahaha, you still don’t understand. My dear, love is like knowing and experiencing the soft breeze. By stretching your arms wide open, you will know and experience what a soft breeze is all about. On the contrary, you will not know and experience what a soft breeze is all about if you close your arms around you and feel yourself. Thus, true love is always open arms. With arms open, you allow yourself to know and experience it and to come and go as it will, freely, for it’ll do so anyway. However, if you close your arms for true love, you will not really know and experience it. You’ll find only holding yourself. Remember this my dear; true love is not all about fall ‘in’ or ‘out’ of it. It is your willingness to grow on it that defines what it is all about.

Stories from the Heart (You don’t have to work for LOVE)

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A young man asked his grandfather; grand Pa why is it so hard to love? I already experienced a lot of broken relationships in life. I also experienced rejections for many times. I did my best, but my best wasn’t good enough in loving. I also did my very best to be creative in loving but nothing happened. Perhaps, love is not for me. Maybe, I was not born for love. Suddenly, the grandfather respond; son, don’t say that love is not meant for you. We were born out of love and you will not be who you are now without love. Yes my dear, it is really difficult to love because love is not cheap. It takes more time, more effort, and more faith to love. I am now 85 years old but still I am learning and beginning to love because to live in love is always to start all over again. Love is simple. It embraces what is ordinary and it does not complicate things. Love is an emotion, and I really agree on that. But it is also a “response” to an emotion and an active expression of what is felt. Love is not learned by osmosis, flowering insights, and compulsions; it is always acted out and acted upon. For 85 years of my existence, this is what I have realized about my life; I was born out of love and called to love. However son, always remember this; you don’t have to work for love; love requires no teacher; you just fall into love if you follow the right rules and play the right “game” correctly. Love is learned best in wonder, in joy, in peace, in living. For 85 years living here in this world, this is what I’ve learned on persevering and persisting in loving despite the pains and demands it brings.

Indeed, it’s really challenging to love. But let’s not lose our enthusiasm and motivation to love sincerely and wholeheartedly. Let’s continue to be persevering (or determined) and persistent in loving. What matters most in loving sincerely and wholeheartedly is not the result, but the learning which we will felt unless we let ourselves be indulge in love in spite of its demands, challenges, and pains it brings.  What matters most in loving sincerely and wholeheartedly is not the result, but the learning which we will FEEL unless we let ourselves be indulge in love in spite of its demands, challenges, and pains it brings.

Paralysis

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When you’re paralyzed within, it’s hard to move on.  But wait a minute, what’s ‘paralyzed within’ that I’m talking about?  I’m sure we experienced this.  It’s a feeling of massive compunction that we can’t control.  It’s a sensation of too much pain inflicted in our hearts because of past heart-brokenness and regrets which sometimes haunts and disturbs us whenever we feel alone and lonely in life.  It’s one of the malady within our emotional state that’s hard to deal with because it impedes us to move forward and to go on in life.  Hence, life is sometimes tragic.  It is really inevitable to experience this kind of feeling.

When we are ‘paralyzed within’ it’s really hard to see the brighter side of life.  Everything seems so gloomy and depressing.  We can’t take a good stance when we’re down and troubled.  We are confuse to decide whether to push through fearlessly even though it hurts or to let it be as it is by saying ‘I can’t’.  Life is really full of twists and turns.  When we are ‘paralyzed within’ we cannot but accept the fact that life is not a bed roses; it is going through its thorns.

However, in every paralysis that we encounter in life there are tidbits of hope waiting for us and assure us encouragement to move on albeit hardships and sufferings.  Thus, nothing to be afraid of when are experiencing paralysis within our lives.  There’s always an assurance of hope when we start to handle every paralysis we experience with a steadfast heart and optimism.