Charge to Experience

sagada-teachermiatravelsOne of the things that really make me bother as a blogger is the experience called the “inexpressible insights”.

These insights are hard to put into writing as I am now engaging myself with this kind of experience.  I remember Jodie Foster’s 1997 movie entitled The Contact as Doctor Ellie Arroway when she tried to explain to the panel and to Michael Kitz about her alien-stuff experience and she simply said these words;

“I can’t. I… had an experience… I can’t prove it, I can’t even explain it, but everything that I know as a human being, everything that I am tells me that it was real! I was given something wonderful, something that changed me forever… A vision… of the universe, that tells us, undeniably, how tiny, and insignificant and how… rare, and precious we all are! A vision that tells us that we belong to something that is greater than ourselves, that we are *not*, that none of us are alone! I wish… I… could share that… I wish, that everyone, if only for one… moment, could feel… that awe, and humility, and hope. But… That continues to be my wish.”

It’s the same thing I am feeling right now.  I had a wonderful experience, but I can’t put it into words which I wish I could.  The only thing that I could say is “I…had an experience…I can’t prove it, I can’t even explain it…”  This kind of experience really comes in an unexpected moment.  Hence, I realized no words can ever explain an experience that’s hard to prove or put into our own language or mindset.  Maybe, people may judge this thing as a “scarcity-of-word-syndrome” or “experience-pondered-by-silence”.  I don’t know.  But, the only thing that for me is the surest answer is “I had an experience.”

Thus, as I reflect on this, I realized that there are experiences in life that are left unexplained and only charge to experience per se.  It’s not foolishness, but it is just part of my uniqueness as a human.  As an analogy; when we look up to sky and try to look on the stars we cannot but be amazed on its wonder.  We are being awe-inspired by its magnificence and we cannot but experience it and be delight on its wonder.

Afterwards, it’s hard to explain in an exact way what we experienced about the stars, and the only thing that we could say is “the stars are wonderful.”

Indeed, it’s good to be human.  Some experiences that we experienced here on earth are not bound for explanation but charge to experience.  It’s normal not to explain what we experienced rightly, but it’s abnormal to explain what we experienced on an exact and surest way.  Everything what we experienced here on earth are not calculated, and beyond the parameters of space and time.  So, every experience is meant for cherishing and not for explaining because it lasts.

I am lucky that I am experiencing this kind of opportunity.  It is just trying to show me that I am unique and my experiences are beyond my imaginations and calculations just like yours.

On Unconditional Love and Mother’s Love

strength-of-a-mothers-loveTry as you will, you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love.”

-Victor Hugo

Love is what makes the human heart alive and active.

But, when love is unconditionally felt and given, this is one of the best parts in experiencing love as the essence of life.  This is what the gospel for this Sunday wants to express into our minds and hearts.

Jesus showed to us the real essence of love by saying; No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friend (John 15:13).  This is what love is all about, i.e. giving up everything for your beloved without any cost.  Why?  Let us revisit again the gospel for today; Jesus assures us when we give up everything for love, His joy may be in us and our joy may be complete (John 15:11).  Thus, only in giving up for the sake of love we may be able to feel and experience complete joy which greater than the smiles on our faces.

What makes love unconditional?  Unconditional love is greater than the hugs that we long for, the kiss that we hope for, and the Valentine’s Day that we wait for.  What makes love is unconditional is in its expressions, and not in expectations.   The best example of unconditional love as an expression is the mother’s love.  The love of a mother begins in the womb and ends in tomb.  It means, the love of a mother encompasses everything.  For a mother, it doesn’t matter how many sacrifices she has to offer for her children; what matters most for her is she love and will love them unconditionally.  Just like what my mother did to us when we were still young.

She’s inexpressive, but we feel her love when she acts it out.  From that I realized that even words are insufficient in order to express the love of a mother to her children, so she expresses it through actions.  If I will compare the love of my mother for us, the best image that is popping-up unto my mind is the image of the swan covering its children in order to protect them from danger and that the children may feel the warmth of their mother swan’s embrace.  For me, this is a powerful image of unconditional love.  Through the persona of a mother, the unconditional love of God for all of us is certifiable.  For a mother, laying down her life for her children is difficult and challenging, but fulfilling.  That’s what makes a mother’s love best.

Love really drives us to do impossible things.  Hence, love is powerful.  But, it will be more powerful when it is shared unconditionally.  And, this is what I learned from my mother.  Even though people whom I loved do not understand the way I loved them it doesn’t matter for me.  What matters most for me is I loved them unconditionally.  It’s risky but fulfilling.  I admit, I received hurts and rejections a lot of times when I do my very best to love unconditionally.  I did not give up.  Instead, I embrace those things and still moved on because I believe this is what love is all about.  Indeed, Victor Hugo is right in saying; you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love.  Hence, loving is really untiring when it is freely given and shared unconditionally.

Goodbye to a place called “HOME”

10255621_1460605577518718_1640161868880774405_oIt’s hard to say goodbye to a place that you called “HOME”. Indeed, the song Leaving on the Jet plane is right on saying;

All my bags are packed I’m ready to go

I’m standin’ here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

One of the things that I hate most is to say goodbye. Goodbyes make me sad and nostalgic about the wonderful memories that I encounter to a place that I consider as “HOME”. Some people said, it’s really hard to say goodbye to a place that you belonged yourself with especially when memories made you feel alive and relieve from the pain of the past nightmares and grieves. It’s really so sad to wave my hand and say “goodbye” to a place that made me brand new and alive once again. But, this is life when it’s time to let go and to welcome another chapter for my life.

I will really miss Cebu so much. It’s not about the beautiful beaches, views, heritage, restaurants, historic places, and events that I will miss but the experiences and memories that I leave behind on that place called The Queen City of the South. Though I was not able to learn the language well, I was thought to value myself and my vulnerabilities as I also value the place despite the imperfection that it has. Because of this place I was challenged to consider the different aspect of my life not just only as a religious but also as a human person. On that place I realize that life is more appreciated when it is simple and serene. Hence, the simplicity and the serenity of that place helped me to myself in a bigger picture, and that’s why I consider Cebu as “Home” and my “Oasis”.

Now, I left Cebu. But, it will always be forever in my heart. I have learned a lot of things about you, and I will always cherish it. Now, I am embracing the next chapter for my life. Another journey is waiting for me and it has lots of surprises. At this moment, the only thing that I should do is to let go and start all over again. I hate this job but it’s a need for my growth and my search for life’s ultimate reasons. It’s really hard to say goodbye, but there’s good in saying goodbye. When there are goodbyes, there are another opportunities and beginnings that are waiting for me. What are those? I don’t know but I know it’s always for a better.