What matters most in life is you love

A chief executive of a prestigious and well-founded company was suffering of a colon cancer in a hospital bed. Together with him was his personal assistant who worked for him for 25 years. On one of their conversation, the loyal assistant asked, “Sir, you’re a good-looking, rich, and influential man, but why you never had a wife? You are in your old age already, who will inherit all your wealth since you don’t have children or family of your own? You focused too much on your career, but have you also tried to fall in love with a woman?”

The sickly old man smiled and chuckled to what he said, with worriness and regret, He said, “My dearest, I am also a normal being.  I fell in love for so many times. I had been with so many failed relationships because they rejected me. I did not meet their standards, that’s what they said. Though I’ve tried, still nothing happened. However, I still managed to be happy and fulfilled even though I was never loved. It is because I love. Do you understand all those things?”

“I don’t understand.” The assistant said. For so many years I’ve seen who you are. I believe you will surpass all the challenges about love because of your status in life, but I asked myself, why? Why are you so different?” The assistant added.

“Here take this letter. Don’t open it yet. Open and read this on my eulogical service beside my coffin. By that time you will understand why. May this letter enlighten your mind and heart about me.”  The chief executive uttered with a smile on his face.  After three days, he passed away. Many mourned, others were shocked, and some felt saddened of his death.

On the last wake of his remains, a necrological service and eulogical ceremony was held simultaneously. Many gave their condolences, prayers, and sympathies to the remaining relatives of what to be considered a very influential man. It was the personal assistant’s turn to give his eulogy, “Three days before his death we argued about his hopeless romantic situation”.  He began as people laughed.  He continued, “Then, I asked myself, what made him happy despite of being alone in life. He possessed traits and characteristics of a man that every woman would want. But still, he remained single despite of being the right man. In the middle of our argument, he handed me this letter. He asked me to open and read it only at the last wake of his remains. And so today, I will read his letter which for him is something personal and humbling.”

Dear folks, colleagues, and my friend and very loyal personal assistant,

I asked myself why I am a hopeless romantic person. Even I complained many times to God why falling in love with a woman has been aloof to me. I really do my very best that I can in loving but it always end up as a failure. I have been with so many failed relationships, rejections, embarrassments, and disappointments. And, after all those things, I became hopeless. I thought it was the end, but it’s not.  From that miserable fate, I found my real vocation in life. I realized that God let those things happened in my life in order that I may be deeper in love. God introduced to me a wonderful vocation called singlehood. People may say or think that to remain single forever is a wrong choice. But for me, to be single forever is a wonderful adventure. I love more, I dedicate my whole life in sharing my blessings to those people who are not being loved and being rejected especially the poor and the orphans, I listen to people’s life stories of joys, struggles, and success, and I also shared my life’s stories too, but one of the best things that I cherished most in my life is being contended of who I am. That is why I’ve learned the power of happiness and contentment in spite of my disposition. Now at my death bed I could say that I lived my life to the fullest even though there are so many setbacks. I am ready to die happily and in peace. I am not worried about the company. I know there’s a good person who will really manage it. I will give it to my personal assistant who served me for 25 years with so much patience, understanding, and love. Half of my possessions will be given to the orphanage and the shares of the company will be equally distributed to every employees and workers. Why am I doing this? Simply, I love you all and what I learned about my experiences IS this; love as you can though it hurts because what matters most in life is you love. Folks, colleague, and my dear personal assistant thank you for being a part of my life.

Sincerely yours,

Your bachelor chief executive.

After hearing the message everyone stunned and paused for a moment. The personal assistant was surprised on what he had read and burst into tears. After a moment of silent, a round of applause was resound at the funeral; and after reading, the personal assistant just said: “Oh God!” and sob into tears.

Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney?

I don’t like to spoil this Valentine’s Day with bitter aphorisms and insights about love. However, what does the title of my reflection for this wonderful event wants to pertain? Obviously it’s the title of the late Whitney Houston’s song for broken-hearts. This song is like a potion or a spell that every time we hear it we cannot but emote and say; “truly, love is demanding!” Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney? A question that continuously boggling my mind while listening to this song, writing this reflection and pondering this occasion. We all know that Valentine’s Day for the broken-hearted people is a day of remorse. Seriously, where do broken hearts really go? Some prefer to just stay at home, have a long nap during the day. Others just enjoy BY doing so many work-related preoccupations. But I know some who prefer to spend heart’s day watching Japanese horror movies, enjoying me time #loveyourself, some are die-hard advocates of Banned Feb 14 because they want to believe that Feb 14 does not exists in the calendar. Why? Because of the undeniable fact that they are sensitive enough to be affected seeing lovers happily spending the most romantic day of the year. Sounds ridiculous right?! But there’s a reality called broken-heartedness in love.

Is heart meant to be broken when it found the right love? But, is there really such terms called right love, wrong love? For me, our hearts are also meant to be broken. Perhaps you disagree about this, but why do I say so? Love does not do and go wrong. We are the ones labeling it whether it falls on the right or wrong depending on our wants and needs. We control to feel the love and I think there’s something wrong about it. Because from there, we are afraid of what we think “unnecessary pain” may cause our hearts to be broken in loving. Indeed, there’s a need for our hearts to experience broken-heartedness. Why? The right kind of love accepts pain. Every heart aches allow us to experience and realize how to love more deeply and maturely. Every wound creates spaces and better opportunities for love. And so, letting ourselves to experience broken-heartedness in love is essential. It make us realize that love is all about growing-up and allowing yourself to mold by the promptings of it. Henceforth, where do broken hearts go? For me, broken hearts must go to place that is suitable for calm and serenity. A refuge for instance, a place where broken hearts may be able to mend their selves through acceptance and growth. So, when love persists grow up, move on, and let go in order to start all over again because love brings infinite avenues of possibilities of loving with persistence and perseverance once again.

The Potter’s Hand

A famous pot maker artist was interviewed in a talk show. The host asked him, “Your works are really impressive, unique, creative, and aesthetic. Indeed, I am convinced that your pots are really world-class masterpiece. To inspire our audience and tele-viewers by your success, I would like to ask this question, what’s your secret in making such artistic pots?” The pot maker artist smiled at the host and said, “Every time I make pots I always consider myself as a clay.” “C’mon you’re kidding!” the host said with a vibrant laugh. The pot maker artist responded, “Yes it’s true. A clay is filthy, dirty, and muddy. Sometimes it has a foul smell too. But, once I started to use it for pot-making I don’t mind those things anymore. In spite of its filthiness, dirtiness, muddiness, and foul smell I see to it that the best, artistic, and world-class pot will come out. Just like me for instance. Yes, today I might be a well-known successful and prominent artist because of my works but behind my success, were a lot of failures, rejections, and oppositions in life. However, I chose to move forward despite of my limitations and shortcomings. Every time I persevere on my passion in life I started too realized not to focus on my inadequacy, but to the positive traits, talents and the goodness within me instead. Hence, the secret is TO let failures, shortcomings, limitations, rejections, and oppositions be the potter’s hands of your life. Accept it. Because it makes you humble, and it molds you to be the best, artistic, and world-class version of yourself just like the works of arts.” The audience and the host were stunned and gave him a warm of applause by his inspiring words.

 

Stories from the Heart (True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives)

A famous preacher shared a parable about love to his avid audience: A hesitant lover went out to visit his beloved. He knocked at her office door and somebody opened it. He noticed that she was too busy in editing the works of her students so he just greeted her “hi” and “how are you”. His beloved smiled at him and asked; “Aren’t you busy today?” “Yes, I just dropped by to greet you. He replied. “I will be going back to my duties in a while to meet the deadline.” He added. She looked at him with eagerness and said; “Are you willing to wait for me? I really need to talk to you.” Hesitantly, he paused for a moment and said indecisively; “I…do don’….don’t know if I can and may be able to wait for you because I am also too busy just like you.” But, his beloved insisted; “Please wait for me. I really need to talk to you. I will meet you downstairs when I’m done.” “Will see” he replied and immediately went back to do his duties. As he walked down the stairs, he accidentally met a very familiar man. He knew him of course. That man is her first love. They exchanged look as they passed each other. While he was doing his work he suddenly stopped and pondered, asking himself quietly; “Do I really need to wait and to talk to her? After she rejected me and inflicted me with pain and anguish, now she is willing to talk to me. Do I really have to?” As these thoughts continuously boggling his mind, he stopped from what he was doing and decided to wait for her anyway. One…Two…Three hours of waiting, no signs of her presence until he received an SMS from her, he read; “I am sorry if I wasn’t able to talk to you. I needed to go home”. He went away with a heavy heart, feeling dejected. He knew the reason behind. She won’t tell but he knew why. “LIAR!” was what his mind was shouting.

“Who loved much, the hesitant lover or his beloved?” The avid audience responded in silence for they didn’t understand what the preacher was talking about. The preacher exclaimed his words vibrantly and with conviction; “I know you can’t relate and understand the essence of love on the parable that I’ve shared with you today because it’s just an ordinary parable; typical and nothing new. But, I would like to reveal something about that each and every one always ignore, True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives. If you’re really convinced to love, you really prioritize others even though you feel uneasy and perturbed on them because you care. To say “I don’t care” to someone is tantamount to rejection. The hesitant lover loves more than the beloved. Even though he was busy he was still willing to talk to her, he chose to wait because he cares and still loves her despite of the hopelessness of loving her. On the contrary, we are sometimes like the beloved. We sometimes tend to forget to fulfill our word of honor for others because we easily fall on the trap on prioritizing of what we think is more convenient and important. We don’t prioritize to love those whom we labeled as insignificant, and unimportant into our lives. Remember this my dear audience; if you want to consider Love as a priority, don’t discard and reject others whom you consider as insignificant, and unimportant in your lives. There are too like you, struggling to love and longing to be loved. The more you reject others, the more you reject yourself”.

On Patience…Patience… and Patience

picture taken from http://www.thepoortraveler.net

Heavy traffic in EDSA, long queue in the MRT or LRT waiting for someone for almost an hour, processing important documents and papers in some gov’t offices, choleric co-workers, uncooperative colleagues, demanding husband or wife, stubborn, rebellious children, waiting for the one true love, and so on. These are some of the many examples that irritates us and test our patience. It’s really difficult to be patient nowadays, looking upon our situation that we are living; a complex world full of impulse, stress, and anxiety. However, why is it so important to be patient amidst these realities? Why patience is still consider as one of the significant Christian virtues despite the undeniable fact that we are living in a compulsive-kind of world?

In a world filled with discourteous and rude drivers in streets, selfishness, individual differences that cause conflicts with co- workers and the constant demands of children and family, we often need patience just to keep it together. But, how? Here are the three things that we should consider about patience as a Christian virtue; (1) Patience understands and trusts God’s perspective. How many times have we lost our patience in God because of the trials that we felt was so unfair? The tendency is, we put the blame on Him, we complain, and we walked away from Him when we can’t bear the struggle anymore. But, have you ever noticed that in bearing it and keeping control over the impulse of it, we recognize that He understands us and we put our trust in Him? Thus, when trials come, be patient and hold on to Him. He understands our needs far better than we do. As much as we know what we want, He knows what is truly best! It is good that we allow us to be guided by these words coming from the book of Lamentations; “The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD” (Lamentations 3:25-26). (2) Patience loves and respects others. One of our biggest challenges in life is trying to exercise patience in our relationships with others. We easily become annoyed when we encounter ill-mannered and difficult individuals. However, being fretful will not be a good means to treat them with love and respect. Remember; Jesus shows his patience with love and respect even to the die-hard sinners of His time. It’s hard to live life in the fullest when impatience overrules our lives. It’s also hard to gain trust from others when we let ourselves be controlled by being impatient. Many serious quarrel starts with or short temper over little annoyances or inconveniences. Hence, we must really exercise patience in order that we may love and respect others. Having this kind of patience that pertains to love and respect others truly treasures them and revered them in spite of their shortcomings. Let’s consider 1 Corinthians 13:4; In 1 Corinthians 13:4 we are told that love “suffers long,” or is patient. The passage goes on to describe how love is not selfish, prideful or rude, because it is after the welfare of someone else. Love is the basis, and patience is part of that process. (3) Patience encourages us to stand up with optimism amidst trials. This is another important reason why we really need to practice it in facing our trials and difficulties in life. In order that we may be able to consider patience as an encouragement, we must really cope with our daily annoyances and hardships without complaint and with optimism, knowing that God’s providence does not really permit any trial that will not be a source of good for us if endured unwearyingly. Hence, let us be inspired and fortified by the words of the Letter of James; “Brethren, you will always have your trials but, when they come, try to treat them as a happy privilege; you understand that your faith is only put to the test to make you patient, but patience too is to have its practical results so that you will become fully-developed, complete, with nothing wanting.” (James 1:2)

There is an old Dutch proverb that says, “A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.” We can’t deny the fact that in our experience it often shows that a patient person will always make better decisions and see more favorable and positive outcomes in life than a very intelligent person who doesn’t have the patience to wait for the right time and opportunity. However, how may we be able to attain better decisions and to be more positive in life despite the oppositions and hostilities that we encounter every day? Let’s always remember and consider three things why we really need to practice patience daily; (1) it understands and trusts God’s perspective, (2) it loves and respects others, and (3) it encourages us to stand up with optimism amidst trials. We ask the Lord who is very patience on us that He may grant us the grace to really practice patience as a very important Christian virtue for our lives wholeheartedly.