What matters most in life is you love

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A chief executive of a prestigious and well-founded company was suffering of a colon cancer in a hospital bed. Together with him was his personal assistant who worked for him for 25 years. On one of their conversation, the loyal assistant asked, “Sir, you’re a good-looking, rich, and influential man, but why you never had a wife? You are in your old age already, who will inherit all your wealth since you don’t have children or family of your own? You focused too much on your career, but have you also tried to fall in love with a woman?”

The sickly old man smiled and chuckled to what he said, with worriness and regret, He said, “My dearest, I am also a normal being.  I fell in love for so many times. I had been with so many failed relationships because they rejected me. I did not meet their standards, that’s what they said. Though I’ve tried, still nothing happened. However, I still managed to be happy and fulfilled even though I was never loved. It is because I love. Do you understand all those things?”

“I don’t understand.” The assistant said. For so many years I’ve seen who you are. I believe you will surpass all the challenges about love because of your status in life, but I asked myself, why? Why are you so different?” The assistant added.

“Here take this letter. Don’t open it yet. Open and read this on my eulogical service beside my coffin. By that time you will understand why. May this letter enlighten your mind and heart about me.”  The chief executive uttered with a smile on his face.  After three days, he passed away. Many mourned, others were shocked, and some felt saddened of his death.

On the last wake of his remains, a necrological service and eulogical ceremony was held simultaneously. Many gave their condolences, prayers, and sympathies to the remaining relatives of what to be considered a very influential man. It was the personal assistant’s turn to give his eulogy, “Three days before his death we argued about his hopeless romantic situation”.  He began as people laughed.  He continued, “Then, I asked myself, what made him happy despite of being alone in life. He possessed traits and characteristics of a man that every woman would want. But still, he remained single despite of being the right man. In the middle of our argument, he handed me this letter. He asked me to open and read it only at the last wake of his remains. And so today, I will read his letter which for him is something personal and humbling.”

Dear folks, colleagues, and my friend and very loyal personal assistant,

I asked myself why I am a hopeless romantic person. Even I complained many times to God why falling in love with a woman has been aloof to me. I really do my very best that I can in loving but it always end up as a failure. I have been with so many failed relationships, rejections, embarrassments, and disappointments. And, after all those things, I became hopeless. I thought it was the end, but it’s not.  From that miserable fate, I found my real vocation in life. I realized that God let those things happened in my life in order that I may be deeper in love. God introduced to me a wonderful vocation called singlehood. People may say or think that to remain single forever is a wrong choice. But for me, to be single forever is a wonderful adventure. I love more, I dedicate my whole life in sharing my blessings to those people who are not being loved and being rejected especially the poor and the orphans, I listen to people’s life stories of joys, struggles, and success, and I also shared my life’s stories too, but one of the best things that I cherished most in my life is being contended of who I am. That is why I’ve learned the power of happiness and contentment in spite of my disposition. Now at my death bed I could say that I lived my life to the fullest even though there are so many setbacks. I am ready to die happily and in peace. I am not worried about the company. I know there’s a good person who will really manage it. I will give it to my personal assistant who served me for 25 years with so much patience, understanding, and love. Half of my possessions will be given to the orphanage and the shares of the company will be equally distributed to every employees and workers. Why am I doing this? Simply, I love you all and what I learned about my experiences IS this; love as you can though it hurts because what matters most in life is you love. Folks, colleague, and my dear personal assistant thank you for being a part of my life.

Sincerely yours,

Your bachelor chief executive.

After hearing the message everyone stunned and paused for a moment. The personal assistant was surprised on what he had read and burst into tears. After a moment of silent, a round of applause was resound at the funeral; and after reading, the personal assistant just said: “Oh God!” and sob into tears.

Stories from the Heart (True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives)

Preacher

A famous preacher shared a parable about love to his avid audience: A hesitant lover went out to visit his beloved. He knocked at her office door and somebody opened it. He noticed that she was too busy in editing the works of her students so he just greeted her “hi” and “how are you”. His beloved smiled at him and asked; “Aren’t you busy today?” “Yes, I just dropped by to greet you. He replied. “I will be going back to my duties in a while to meet the deadline.” He added. She looked at him with eagerness and said; “Are you willing to wait for me? I really need to talk to you.” Hesitantly, he paused for a moment and said indecisively; “I…do don’….don’t know if I can and may be able to wait for you because I am also too busy just like you.” But, his beloved insisted; “Please wait for me. I really need to talk to you. I will meet you downstairs when I’m done.” “Will see” he replied and immediately went back to do his duties. As he walked down the stairs, he accidentally met a very familiar man. He knew him of course. That man is her first love. They exchanged look as they passed each other. While he was doing his work he suddenly stopped and pondered, asking himself quietly; “Do I really need to wait and to talk to her? After she rejected me and inflicted me with pain and anguish, now she is willing to talk to me. Do I really have to?” As these thoughts continuously boggling his mind, he stopped from what he was doing and decided to wait for her anyway. One…Two…Three hours of waiting, no signs of her presence until he received an SMS from her, he read; “I am sorry if I wasn’t able to talk to you. I needed to go home”. He went away with a heavy heart, feeling dejected. He knew the reason behind. She won’t tell but he knew why. “LIAR!” was what his mind was shouting.

“Who loved much, the hesitant lover or his beloved?” The avid audience responded in silence for they didn’t understand what the preacher was talking about. The preacher exclaimed his words vibrantly and with conviction; “I know you can’t relate and understand the essence of love on the parable that I’ve shared with you today because it’s just an ordinary parable; typical and nothing new. But, I would like to reveal something about that each and every one always ignore, True love prioritizes even the insignificant person in our lives. If you’re really convinced to love, you really prioritize others even though you feel uneasy and perturbed on them because you care. To say “I don’t care” to someone is tantamount to rejection. The hesitant lover loves more than the beloved. Even though he was busy he was still willing to talk to her, he chose to wait because he cares and still loves her despite of the hopelessness of loving her. On the contrary, we are sometimes like the beloved. We sometimes tend to forget to fulfill our word of honor for others because we easily fall on the trap on prioritizing of what we think is more convenient and important. We don’t prioritize to love those whom we labeled as insignificant, and unimportant into our lives. Remember this my dear audience; if you want to consider Love as a priority, don’t discard and reject others whom you consider as insignificant, and unimportant in your lives. There are too like you, struggling to love and longing to be loved. The more you reject others, the more you reject yourself”.

A Spooky kind of Love

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Are you afraid of the dark? Have you encountered some horrific experience that made you not sleep well and even eat well? Actually, only a few of us experience some unexplained thrillers that really give us goosebumps. In order to feel the intensity of the Halloween, some chose to celebrate it with a ‘horrific’ atmosphere or wear creepy costumes for ‘Trick or Treat’. Others just chose to be contended at home with popcorns on their side for a horror-movie marathon like The Walking Dead downloaded in some Torrent sites after a tiring and perspiring visit on their love one’s eternal resting place. Sounds unusual isn’t it? But this is what some people want in order to unwind their selves after endless demands at work and in academic battlefields (Whoa strange! How could you really unwind yourself if you’re having a goosebumps?).

We cannot deny the fact that when we speak about October 31, November 1, or November 2 it’s all about Halloween, horror movies, and visiting the cemeteries. We must also not forget that from these dates that I mentioned (especially November 1) we honor the heroic virtues and examples of the Saints in heaven. Actually, honoring them is more sensible than the undead who are the co-creators and co-initiators of the Halloween mentality. Too much horror kills. Anyway, what I would like to emphasize is not all about the question of what must be really celebrated with dignity, All Saints Day or Halloween; but the spookiest thing that Halloween cannot be overruled, i.e. the ‘horror of love’. What does this thing means?

Have you experienced being ‘friend zoned’ and ‘seen zoned’ by the one you love the most? Have you experienced unexpected break-ups after long years of relationship with someone that you really love and care? After all the sacrifices and efforts that you exerted, have you experienced being rejected by the person you love? These questions are all about the ‘horror of love’ or in a simpler understanding, a spooky kind of love. This is the most terrible and horrendous experience in life which its impact is greater than watching Insidious chapters 1, 2, 3, Japanese horror films, zombie movies like The Walking Dead or The Evil Dead. Experiencing this spooky kind of love is like letting your heart and brain be eaten by the zombies in Plants versus Zombies, is really appalling, bone-shaking, and embarrassing. Just like seeing a ghost or a monster; it will not let you sleep at night, it will make your day the worst day of your life, it will destroy your focus and attention, and it will lose your appetite. Sounds creepy isn’t it, but that’s the reality of experiencing the setbacks of love-relationships. This is one of the ‘dreadful’ mysteries in love-relationship that really creates jitters in our mind and goosebumps in our heart. Pathetic, awful, and discouraging; but there’s wisdom behind it that will really give us the key to a sound love-relationship. Just have a little patience and faith, and it will follow.

‘Hopeless Romantic Syndrome’

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I don’t know if it’s proper for me to give my reflection regarding this phenomenon called ‘Hopeless Romantic Syndrome’.

Every time I check my Facebook account, I cannot but ask myself why millennial lovers of today are fond of posting bitter thoughts or insights and #hugots about love. Actually, I myself also have this kind of tendency whenever I experience the disease of love. It’s so funny and nosy to think about that myself, who is questioning this phenomenon, also being carried away by the current of this trend sometimes.

Why is there an inescapable tendency to experience to be ‘Hopeless Romantic’? This is the main question that boggles my mind now as I ponder the mystery of it. An irresistible reality that we tend to avoid, but we experience unexpectedly-this is what’s meant to be ‘Hopeless Romantic’ which we have to accept that we had a first-hand experience of it.

Is it wrong to expect or hope for a love that is not meant for you? Is not everyone destined to find love? Is it bad to love someone who’s not destined to you? These are some of the questions I encountered whenever I am talking or chatting with a Hopeless Romantic person. I cannot also deny the fact that I also ask these questions within the bottom of my head and heart when love seems so absurd sometimes. So, I know what it feels to be Hopeless Romantic.

I know what it means to be rejected despite all the efforts, sacrifices, creativities, honesties, and sincerities that you manifest for the person whom you loved most.

It’s really painful and embarrassing to be labeled as Hopeless Romantic. Sometimes we asked, why there’s an experience of pain in loving. Actually, for me, we cannot love without pain. Pain helps us to realize that love is not cheap. It gives motivations for us to be still and to move on despite all the flaws and hurts in loving truly, madly, deeply.

And so, to be Hopeless Romantic is not something to be avoid, but it’s an opportunity that need to accept with conviction. To be Hopeless Romantic is not the end of everything about love. Today, I know you’re Hopeless Romantic. Don’t be afraid. You’re not lacking of something about loving genuinely. What matters most in true love is you love. It’s unavoidable that sometimes you fail. It’s okay at least you loved.

You know, I am very proud of you and I appreciate you as being a hopeless romantic person because you’re true lover. You’re unique and be proud of it. Even though the person that you loved most doesn’t recognize the authenticity and the candor of your love that beats within your heart, it doesn’t matter. What matters most is you’re not lacking in loving truthfully and faithfully.

Dear Friend

broken-friendship-quote1I dedicate this write-up for those who abandoned by their friends and for those who continue to love and consider them as friends even though they’re already rejected and neglected by them.

 Dear Friend,

            In friendship, I believe in this philosophy which states; a friend is someone capable of perfecting my imperfections, fulfilling me, revealing to me who I am because you are my friend, because you love me, because you are my personal good and I am also your personal good, and because you make me conscious of loving and arouses within me a sense of wonder and admiration.  Hence, you are so important to me because you make my joy and my being complete.   This is how I consider you not just as a friend but a person who has capacities and uniqueness.  I trust you, I believe in you, and I respect you because you also did these to me.  Because of you everything has changed into my life.  You free me from my sorrows and sadness.  You help me to appreciate my uniqueness and also my weaknesses.  Indeed, you’re such a good friend to me and you’re always saying to me whenever we talk; when you feel down and troubled and you need a person to talk and to be your crying shoulder, just call out my name and I’ll be listening to you and I’ll be at your side as your crying shoulder.

Suddenly, as time goes by, I cannot but be amazed and surprised that these things will be just a part of happy memories inside my mind.  What happened?  Why things have changed in our friendship?  I thought everything will be okay and fine, but why there’s an abrupt amendment on our friendship?  Why you suddenly left me behind without any reason at all?  Have I hurt you that’s why you left me alone in my loneliness?  I cannot feel you anymore.  I cannot understand why all of a sudden you break my heart and confuse my mind into uncertainties.  Before, everything is overwhelming and wonderful when we are together as friends sharing our own insights about love and relationship; but now out of the blue you faded away without any manifestations.  This is a sad reality that unrecognizable and unacceptable.  I cannot but cry and ask the heavens why these things are happening to me?  Did I commit something wrong to you, my friend?

In this experience I realized that the most painful and hurting experience in the life of the person is to be left behind by a friend without any reason at all.  It’s more horrible than a break-up, and more horrifying and despairing than a simple rejection.  It’s like a slap on my innocence when you reject me and you left me suffering on my own grief and anxieties.  Why? This is the only question that my mind and my heart cried out when you now avoid me and consider me as nobody.

Even if you treat me as nobody or as an insignificant person I will still consider you and love you as a friend.  You’re still significant into my life.  Yes, I am in pain now, but I will never regret that you became an important part in my growth and in my existence.  You’ll always be in my heart no matter how excruciating the loneliness and sadness that you have given me.  You’ll always be a friend to me; capable  of perfecting my imperfections, fulfilling me, revealing to me who I am, my personal good, and a person who makes me conscious of loving and rouses within me a sense of wonder and admiration.  Though how many times you forget me and reject me as you friend, in my heart, I will always consider you as my friend; a special and unique friend to me.

Sincerely Yours,

 An Insignificant Friend of yours.

Summer Sadness :(

annie-sad-backSadness is but a wall between two gardens.
– Kahlil Gibran

This is what I feel from the past days until now.  I can’t see from this moment the light that would make me happy inside.  The difficulty of handling this sadness is its identity, i.e. anonymous; which means it has no name or it’s hard to name it. At first glance, I feel like a fool that I am experiencing this kind of phenomenon in my life, but it is something real and cannot be ignored.

As I think of it I ask myself; why this thing is happening to me?  Is this part of a grandeur plan that the Lord has for me?  Or, I am just thinking of something that makes me sad and melancholic?  The only thing that I could say is “Damn!”

In life, I realized that the most difficult experience that a person could encounter is an unnamed sadness.  It is something that so hard to determine and it kills you slowly in the inside.

There are things that are bothering my mind as I face this unusual reality; maybe, I am just experiencing my own quarter-life crisis, a term that has always been told by my friends from the corporate world.  Maybe could be.

But, why does it strike on me so sudden and soothe?  Whenever I am thinking of this thing, I scratch my head in confusion and desperation sometimes.  But, the worst scenario of experiencing this thing is when you seek for help from somebody that you trust most but that person is not available and seemingly not interested.

Actually, it is really a heart-breaking experience.  It’s like that you are left drowning in the middle of the sea and the person whom you are expecting to save you from danger and misery is not there.  As I think of it, the only thing that I do is to understand and to be patient on that scenario which is happening now in my life.

On this experience I am experiencing what it meant to be alone on your own unnamed sadness.  It’s tragic but maybe it’s part of a plan; a strategic plan that God has laid down on my life so that I may be strengthened and be firmed in life. Just like a boxer who prepares himself from a mega fight with intense trainings and sparring sessions; it’s the same experience that I am experiencing now in order that I may be prepared in facing my life’s greatest opponents in the future.

Though unnamed sadness and rejections hampered me now to see the beauty and the magnificent of the garden of opportunities and happiness in my life, I am pretty sure it is just but a preparation for me to face it with courage and determination.  I feel being abandoned and alone now, but the only thing that I could do is this borrowing the words of Ritu Ghatourey;

Appreciate those who have hurt you, because they strengthen your heart.

Appreciate those who deceive you, because they improve your wisdom.

Appreciate those who slander against you, because they improve your personality.

Appreciate those who whip you because they arouse your will to fight.

Appreciate those who abandon you, because they teach you independence.

Appreciate those who make you stumble, because they strengthen your legs.

Appreciate those who denounce you, because they remind you of your shortcomings.

Appreciate those who give you strength

Love amidst Struggles

785003Love exists when we struggle for it.

Why does love reside in every great struggle that we encounter in life?  I always highlight in my previous thoughts about love that it resides in every struggle we encounter in life because it is not cheap.  But, as I continue to reflect and search for its great significance into our lives, I have found another reason why love need to be struggled, i.e. on our identity itself as persons adequately considered lovers and also the recipient of authentic love.  We are formed and struggled out of love, and so we are called to do the same for the sake of realizing love authentically and realistically.  It’s demanding indeed, but it is how love to be what it is.

Sad to say, only few are really ready to struggle for the sake of love.  As the world today offers everything in an instant way, people are also doing the same thing in love.  Many are afraid to value sacrifice and commitment when they enter into relationship.   Some distort and fabricate its real meaning and change it into something secondary, immediate, and profane.  So, many of us misinterpret love as something that can be equated into roses, chocolates, teddy bears and romances.  Where’s the struggle for it?  Where’s the sense of sacrifice that it demands on each and every one of us who would like to abide on its invitations and challenges? Alas, it is now something on the periphery in the mindset of today’s world.

When struggles are not being given any consideration and implication in love, it is really a great trouble.  Now, we feel and experience it.  People kill and die because of hate.  Rejection is now becoming an occurring disease and hard to be tolerated.  Many are now experiencing broken-heartedness and become pessimistic about life and faith.  So now, as the world advances and becomes technological, many important and valuable entities for life are being set aside and degraded.  Regrettably, we are the ones who suffer the consequences.

From this realization, I am enlightened about the real essence of struggling for love into our lives and our world.  Hence, without the struggle in loving, it is really a great chaos.  Why should I or we be afraid of pains, sacrifices, and struggles in love if these are important things for us to see the bright side of love into our daily existence?  Why should I or we distance myself or ourselves on those means if it creates a civilization of love that brings peace on our minds and on our hearts?

Thus, “No great love ever came without great struggle.”