Summer Sadness :(

annie-sad-backSadness is but a wall between two gardens.
– Kahlil Gibran

This is what I feel from the past days until now.  I can’t see from this moment the light that would make me happy inside.  The difficulty of handling this sadness is its identity, i.e. anonymous; which means it has no name or it’s hard to name it. At first glance, I feel like a fool that I am experiencing this kind of phenomenon in my life, but it is something real and cannot be ignored.

As I think of it I ask myself; why this thing is happening to me?  Is this part of a grandeur plan that the Lord has for me?  Or, I am just thinking of something that makes me sad and melancholic?  The only thing that I could say is “Damn!”

In life, I realized that the most difficult experience that a person could encounter is an unnamed sadness.  It is something that so hard to determine and it kills you slowly in the inside.

There are things that are bothering my mind as I face this unusual reality; maybe, I am just experiencing my own quarter-life crisis, a term that has always been told by my friends from the corporate world.  Maybe could be.

But, why does it strike on me so sudden and soothe?  Whenever I am thinking of this thing, I scratch my head in confusion and desperation sometimes.  But, the worst scenario of experiencing this thing is when you seek for help from somebody that you trust most but that person is not available and seemingly not interested.

Actually, it is really a heart-breaking experience.  It’s like that you are left drowning in the middle of the sea and the person whom you are expecting to save you from danger and misery is not there.  As I think of it, the only thing that I do is to understand and to be patient on that scenario which is happening now in my life.

On this experience I am experiencing what it meant to be alone on your own unnamed sadness.  It’s tragic but maybe it’s part of a plan; a strategic plan that God has laid down on my life so that I may be strengthened and be firmed in life. Just like a boxer who prepares himself from a mega fight with intense trainings and sparring sessions; it’s the same experience that I am experiencing now in order that I may be prepared in facing my life’s greatest opponents in the future.

Though unnamed sadness and rejections hampered me now to see the beauty and the magnificent of the garden of opportunities and happiness in my life, I am pretty sure it is just but a preparation for me to face it with courage and determination.  I feel being abandoned and alone now, but the only thing that I could do is this borrowing the words of Ritu Ghatourey;

Appreciate those who have hurt you, because they strengthen your heart.

Appreciate those who deceive you, because they improve your wisdom.

Appreciate those who slander against you, because they improve your personality.

Appreciate those who whip you because they arouse your will to fight.

Appreciate those who abandon you, because they teach you independence.

Appreciate those who make you stumble, because they strengthen your legs.

Appreciate those who denounce you, because they remind you of your shortcomings.

Appreciate those who give you strength

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Vindicating #WalangForever

WALANGFOREVERDAWLove makes the world a better place to live in.

It’s good to see people exchange love in different aspects and forms because it completes the very essence of joy. Joy is not just a mere expression or a mood, but a fruit of love which only the heart could recognize and realize.

There’s no bitterness in love. It’s always full of joy and optimism. So, when there’s love, there’s forever. I don’t believe on what others say that there’s no forever in love or forever is not enough for us to love more. #WalangForever is a lie.

Those who say or sell these words do not understand the real essence of love which is unique, good, and noble. Also, those who promulgate this strange jargon are those who cannot move on, cannot see the light of hope in love, and choose to be bitter forever in loving.

I am sorry if my views about this terminology are against what others approve, agree upon, and accept, but I am pretty convince that #WalangForever for me is not an excuse to start all over again in loving.

When loving seems so absurd and demanding, why be discouraged and say #WalangForever? When love seems so tough, it’s an opportunity to understand and realize that we need to encourage ourselves to move on though the fact that the pain in loving persists. #HabangMayPagibigMayForever; this is what I believe. As our lives here on earth goes on and on, love is an inescapable reality. We cannot and we will never control our hearts when it starts to beat for love.

When we consider love as a non-existent entity into our lives, for sure, we will never be forever joyful, happy, and contented in our lives. Love will always be a part of our lives. Without it we cannot recognize and realize that majority of we encounter in life are interconnected in the reality called love.

Love does not bring bitterness, but happiness if we will just believe and go with its flow though demanding and challenging.

The Light of Easter

11102641_1601493286763279_6012370421389085810_nJesus our Lord is risen.  Alleluia!

Easter is one of the prominent and important celebrations for me aside from Christmas.  Whenever I participate or attend the Easter Vigil and the Easter celebration proper, I cannot but be emotive and reflective.  What makes Easter a very prominent and important celebration for me?  Actually, it is not about the externalities that makes Easter a very special solemnity for me, but its significant message for my life and for our lives.  The message of Easter for me and for all of us is very clear; i.e. rejoice and be glad for the light of the Risen Christ has overcome the pangs of death and the horror of darkness.  Easter gives us a model on how to rise up on our unworthiness, sins, and shortcomings in life.  It brings hope because Jesus is our hope.  Thus, Easter invites us not to lose our sight and our longing for the light of Risen Christ which is the source and manifestation of God’s everlasting love for all of us who are still suffering from the lash of sin and from the whip of our weaknesses.  Yes, it’s the light of the Risen Christ that also brings to us smile on our faces despite the fact that we are fragile and prone to wickedness and mistakes.

One of the things that I cherish most in Easter especially the Easter Vigil celebration is the Service of the Light.  On that one of the significant parts of the Easter Vigil celebration, it calls my attention about how the light from the Paschal Candle is passed on to the people and how the light overcasts the darkness of our chapel.  It’s the same thing on Christ’s Resurrection.  By His resurrection, He passed on to us the light that brings hope to our weariness, forgiveness to our sins, and love to our loneliness.  But, the passing of light does not end in itself.  As Christ initiated it through His resurrection fulfilling the words from the Gospel of John “I am the light of the world.” (Jn. 8: 12); He invites us also to do the same thing.  Christ calls us to embrace our own resurrection from our shortcomings, weaknesses, and unworthiness and be a light for others.  This is what the people needs today.

It’s so sad that the world today is being shaded and blinded by the darkness of sin, persecution, injustices, hate, and division.  Hence, Easter is still relevant up to now.  The only thing that we should consider in order to make our world today a better place for us is to pass on the light of Easter and not to hide it on our own bushel baskets.  Easter is not only a celebration to be renowned, but it is also an invitation for all of us to end the evils of the world by radiating the Risen Christ on the hearts of every people living in the darkness.  How?  By dying to our own pride, self-centeredness, hate, hidden desires, capriciousness, and wantonness.  It is only through embracing conversion that we may be able consider and hold on to the resurrection of Christ; and it is also through this way that we may be able to receive the light of the Risen Christ which brings newness of life that need to be passed on to others especially those who are experiencing gloominess and obscurity in life.  The message of Easter is not just to celebrate that Christ has Risen from the His death, rather it calls and challenges us to open our eyes to the realities of life especially to those who are still now being hovered by the darkness of hopelessness and anxieties, and bring out the light of the Risen Christ to them which is the source of love and the fountain of hope.

Judas Iscariote

Vitrail_Cathédrale_de_Moulins_160609_59Sa Ebanghelyo kahapon ayon kay San Mateo (Mt 26:14-25), siguro hindi na kataka-taka sa atin kung anong ugali meron si Judas Iscariote.  Alam rin natin na pinagkanulo niya si Hesus sa halagang 30 pirasong pilak.  Kung muli natin babalikan ang Ebanghelyo, ang paglalarawang nabanggit ukol kay Judas Iscariote ay di kaaya-aya sa pandinig at diwa.  Mas lalong binigyan-pansin ng Ebanghelyo na si Judas ay isang magnanakaw.  Pero, sa palagay ninyo ito rin ba ang pagtingin ni Hesus sa kanya na isa siyang magnanakaw at salot?  Kung titingnan natin ang ating mga sarili, hindi natin maiwasan makaisip ng mga negatibong paglalarawan kapag narinig natin ang pangalang Judas.  Sa ating linguwahe pa lamang ay ang salitang madalas natin nagagamit ang salitang “Judas” kung tayo’y galit at nakaranas ng mga di kanais-nais na karanasan katulad na lamang ng mga pananalitang ito; “Hudas kang bata ka!” o di naman kaya ay “Hudas na’to pinagkanulo na naman ako”, o di naman kaya “Hudas ka!”  Kadalasan ito ay naririnig natin o di naman kaya ay di rin natin maiwasang masambit.  Pero, kung ating bibigyan pansin si Hesus, naitanong ninyo na bas a inyong mga sarili kung bakit pinili ni Hesus si Judasna maging isa sa mga tagasunod niya.  Alam ni Hesus na si Judas ay isang magnanakaw, ngunit tatandaan natin na hindi hadlang kay Hesus ang kahinaan ng kanyang mga piniling tagasunod, bagkus simula na sila ay tinawag ni Hesus (kasama na rito si Judas) na maging kanyang tagasunod, ang pagtawag sa kanila ay di simpleng pagtawag lamang, tinawag sila ni Hesus na may kalakip na paniniwala galing sa kanya na sila ay mga mabubuting tagasunod at may potensiyal at kapasidad na sumunod.  Sa madaling sabi, si Hesus ay naniniwala sa kanilang mga kakayahan at hindi BIG DEAL para sa kanya na sila ay may kahinaan.

Ganito rin ang pagtingin ni Hesus kay Judas.  Si Hesus ay naniniwala na si Judas ay mabuti at may kakayahang sumunod.  Ayon rin sa mga komentaryong aking nabasa, sinasabi na ang turing ni Hesus kay Judas ay “promising apostle.”  Ibig sabihin, mataas ang pagtingin ni Hesus kay Judas na siya’y kalugod-lugod na tagasunod niya.  Ngunit, nakakalungkot isipin at bigyan ng pansin na ang lahat ng turing at pagkakakilanlan ni Hesus sa kanya ay di niya binigyan ng halaga at pansin.  Nanatili siya sa kanyang negatibong pagkakakilanlan at sinayang ang mga pagkakataong bigyan ng pansin ang mga mabubuting bagay na meron siya na siyang nakita ni Hesus sa kanya.  Ang masakit pa nito, pinagkanulo niya si Hesus; ang tumuring sa kanya na isang mabuting nilalang at isang kaibigan.  Ang nilalang na naniniwala na siya ay may kakayahan, potensiyal, at kapasidad na maging isang mabuting tagasunod.

Ilan sa atin ngayon ang nanatili sa kadiliman ng ating mga kahinahan at kasalanan? Ilan sa atin ngayon ang hindi pa rin matanaw ang liwanag ng kabutihang ating taglay?  Kung tutuusin halos karamihan sa atin ay nagpupursiging matanaw ang liwanag ng kabutihang ating taglay, pero karamihan din sa atin di pa rin makawala sa kadiliman ng ating kahinaan at kasalanan.  Huwag natin kakalimutan na ang Diyos ay patuloy na naniniwala sa atin na sa ating pagpupursigi maging mabuti at mabait o di naman kaya, sa kabila na tayo ay patuloy binubulag ng kadiliman ng ating kahinaan at kasalanan, malalampasan natin ang mga ito kung tayo ay magsisimulang maniwala sa kanya na siyang nagkaloob sa atin ng mga biyaya at grasyang tutulong sa atin na malampasan ang mga ito.  Huwag natin sayangin ang pagtitiwala natin sa Diyos.  Huwag natin ipagpalit ang pagtitiwala natin sa Kanya sa mga makamundo at mapaglinlang ba mga bagay na ngayo’y diyos-diyosan ng mga taong katulad ni Judas, mas piniling magpaakit sa kanyang kasakiman at ganid kaysa sa biyaya at grasya ng Diyos.  Bilang paghahanda ngayong Mahal na Araw, bigyan natin ng pansin ang ating relasyon sa Panginoon.  Napakaganda kung ating bibigyan-pansin na gunitain natin ang Mahal na araw sa pagmamagitan ng pagninilay sa ating kahalagahan at sarili ayon sa ating pakikipagrelasyon sa Diyos.  Huwag natin kakalimutan, nang dahil kay Hesus, tinubos niya tayo sa kasalanan sa pamamagitan ng kanyang pagpapasakit, pagkamatay, at muling pagkabuhay.  Isang mahalagang pagkakataon na muli nating bigyan ng pansin ito sa ating kasalukuyang kinatatayuan at itanong sa ating mga sarili; Mahalaga pa ba ito sa akin?