On Friendship and Break-ups

670px-Break-Up-with-Your-Friend-Step-02Is there breaking-up in friendship?

This question popped-up into my mind when I am experiencing the demands, hassles, and burdens of friendship nowadays.  What must be the real essence and nature of friendship, and why there’s a term in friendship called “breaking-up”?   We all know that friendship is our support system.  We need friends because it enhances and nurtures our identity as social beings.  But, when friendship gets rough, leads us to stress, and no longer serves as a support; we cannot but let go and break up to with our “friends”.

Just like in a romantic relationship, “breaking-up” is a possibility in friendship.  But, it doesn’t mean it’s over.  “Breaking-up” in friendship is different from breaking up in a romantic relationship.  It’s just a moment of accepting the fact that in friendship there’s a need for re-evaluation.  Yes it’s true that some friendship does not last forever so it ends in breaking-up dramatically.  When this occurs just continue to move on and start all over again.  I, myself, am not exempted in this kind of situation.  There were a lot of “breaking-ups” that I experienced in friendship simply because it does not anymore become healthy and sound.  But, I did not give up on reviving it and make it as more enhancing and nurturing means for my growth and maturity.  At first, I don’t understand why the reality called “breaking-up” in friendship is evident and existence.  After I experienced this several times I realized that it’s an indicator for me to ask myself how far I am doing my best to become honest, productive, sincere, and transparent in friendship without thinking, and should never be, that my friends are but just an object of my needs.

I could say friendship is the most serious kind of relationship than romantic relationship.  Just like what the most inspirational, and greatest Christmas film of all-time, It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) about friendship; “No man is a failure who has friends”.  Hence, even though “breaking-up” in friendship is a reality in life; it does not guarantee us to end our capacity to enter in this kind of relationship.  It’s undeniable that it hurts, but how we will be able to gain friends if we avoid ourselves in this kind of reality.  “Breaking-up” in friendship is not a curse but an opportunity to re-think and straighten the crooked lines of this kind of relationship.  Yes, it’s not easy, but I always believe that the secret of effective relationship in friendship starts in pain; so “breaking-up” is necessary if and only if it seen in the vantage point of optimism and acceptance.

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