On Distress and Falling in Love

falling-in-loveWhy falling in love is sometimes distressful?  You want it, but you cannot have it.  You feel it, but you cannot say it because it needs time and prudence.  Why falling in love if it’s demanding?  As I reflect upon it, there are things that I must understand and consider why falling in love must be taken seriously in life.  First, falling in love is not a matter of emotion, but a matter of conviction.  We fall in love not because we feel it, but because we are persons who need to be convinced that we are adequately considered “lovers”.  Before we were conceived in our mother’s womb, we have been loved by God first and granted us the gift of love intended to be shared for others.  So, all of us are bound to love in different aspects of life.  But, if falling in love is something innate on us, why it’s demanding?  To fall in love is demanding because it is sincere, it is something universal, and it is God’s initiative.  We fall in love not because it is circumstantial, but because it is a call for each and every one of us.  They say falling in love is the sweetest thing experience in life.  For me, falling in love is not just the sweetest thing, but it is also the greatest achievement of person’s search for love.  It is a fact of life that should not be underestimated.  We fall in love, and we should be convincing on it because we are born to love.  Although there’s a struggle besides falling in love, let us always remember that true love could only be achieved through persistent struggling and embracing its demands.

Second, falling in love is a freely-given gift and not remorse.  We should always consider the fact that even though we failed to realize our potentialities to fall in love, it is always a freely-given gift.  Sometimes this is our mistake; when there’s another chance to fall in love again; our tendency is to avoid it because we are afraid to suffer heartbreaks and to be fooled again.  Falling in love is not remorse that we should avoid in our lives once it strikes back after the heartbreaks that we experience in life.  When it comes once again into our lives, let us always remember this maxim; Love is sweeter and more achievable for the second time.

Third, falling in love follows the principle of the I and Thou relationship.  Simply put, it is person-oriented.  We cannot fall in love with someone unless we fall in love with ourselves.  Falling in love is not just an ordinary romance (as what the world defines it), but it is also a fruit of our compassion with someone or with a certain situation.  Hence, it is something relational and Christ-centered.  It sees what’s beyond the person’s realities and potentialities.  It’s more on actuations rather than sugar-coated words.  It has no “ifs” and “buts”; it is always direct and sincere.  Let us not be hesitant once we encounter this gratuity called falling in love into our lives.  It always never fails us to gaze upon our uniqueness even though there are moments in life that we need to accept the truth behind pain and suffering.  I would like to end this reflection with this simple analogy; falling in love is like falling into a tree.  It’s tragic and painful when we experience it, but after this incident we realize that climbing a tree needs a lot of caution, patience, persistence, and perseverance.  It’s the same with falling in love.  It takes time to learn its significance and worth in life, but when we master it, it grants an everlasting experience of joy and happiness.  Just like climbing a tree, let us never stop loving even though it takes a lot of effort and time.

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