While fixing my things in the drawer, I was captivated by the song of James Ingram Just Once. As I am listening to it, I was struck by one of the lines of that song which goes like this; I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough. It’s the same thing when we speak about, aspire, and work for conversion in our lives. Conversion is a gradual process that needs special attention and consideration in our day to day struggle. It cannot be forced nor dictated; it simply flows in the right moment and in our ordinary experiences in life. It’s God’s initiative, and we just decide whether we allow it to penetrate into our lives or not. So, we cannot simply say into ourselves that we attain conversion because of our own effort; our effort should always be in line with God’s invitation that we must change and reform our lives according to His teachings and ways of life.
We cannot deny the fact that we really do our best to reform our lives according to God’s teachings and ways of life. But, humans as we are, we cannot also deny the fact that the best that we exerted in order to change is sometimes not good enough. I, myself could testify this; I really do my very best to change all my bad habits and weaknesses by following Jesus’ teachings and ways of life as a model. As for my part, I cannot deny the reality that sometimes I fail not because of the fact that fighting my bad habits and weaknesses is an endless battle. From this I learned a lesson that there will be always another challenges and battles in very victory that we gain in battling our bad habits and weaknesses in life. So, conversion cannot be achieved and insisted with just a matter of second or minute, it’s a process that must always be considered every day until we reach the sixth feet below the ground. Conversion is really tasking, yet fulfilling.
All of us have some weaknesses that we would like to change or reform into strength as we really do our best to change or reform it. But, sometimes we fail simply because our best is not enough. Don’t give up! Stand up! Continue the fight! Don’t be afraid if we lose the fight; always remember that the more we lose in facing our bad habits and weaknesses in life bravely and courageously, the more we come to acknowledge hope as our guiding light to achieve victory and inner peace. Conversion seems too tough; we just have to go on and always welcome it into our hearts. It doesn’t matter whether we lose or not, what matters most is that we know that we need it because we admit into ourselves that we are weak and fragile and we need God as our strength and savior.