It Ends Tonight


When darkness turns to light, IT ENDS TONIGHT

As I woke up this morning and prayed my morning prayer in bed, I paused for a while, and a question soothed in my mind; what will I write in these final hours of 2013?  Many insights popped-up into my mind like fireworks popping up into the midnight sky.  Scrutinizing savvy insights end up into something that needed my consideration – why write some throwback memories of mine as 2014 is fast approaching?  Yah right!  And according to those friends whom I talked with, throwback memories are good source for writing and blogging as the end of 2013 is near.  Actually, I do have a lot of happy and sad throwback memories but the dilemma is how to start.  My mind is full of colors, but it is hard for me to start painting a scenic picture of the whole journey of 2013.

People say life is an endless battle.  My throwback memories remind me what is life all about and it’s about battling for the sake of growth and life’s lesson.  Though the end of 2013 is near, I could say that I am not yet winning a victorious battle against my personal difficulties, trials, and issues in life.  I am still in search.  I am still moving on facing these called “giants” in my journey.  But, I am not hopeless.  “Il tempo guarisce tutti i mali”-Time heals all wounds.  This is my conviction.  This is what makes me stronger despite the fact that I am weak and vulnerable.

As 2013 ends, I recognize that I do have still unfinished business in my life.  Starting to flip the pages of my throwback memories, I cannot but broke into tears.  I admit 2013 is not an intended year for me.  I consider it as my unluckiest year.  I wasn’t able to fulfill and to succeed in unfinished businesses that I encountered along my journey.  Majority of the feelings that I faced in 2013 were anxieties, sadness, and heartsickness. I cannot deny the fact that this 2013 I complained all the more to God especially when I cannot bear anymore the pain of depression.  Are these things an indication for me to stop holding on and hoping for the coming year 2014?  No!  I believe when there is darkness, there is Light.  Light brings life, brings joy, and brings beginning.  Everything will pass away even my anxieties, heartsickness, and depression except Light.  According to the Gospel of John; “the light shines on in darkness, a darkness that did not overcome it”.  As I let this statement coming from the gospel talks to me, it assures me something that I need to think about; “Come back to Light and you will found Life!”  Light!  Yes Light!  This is what my eyes are seeking for as it is being overshadowed by blindness.  This is what I need and I hope for this coming year 2014 in order to stir up the ember inside my heart.  Oh Light!  Yes Light! That will make my heart delight and believe.

Anno Nuovo, Vita Nuova-New Year, New Life.  It is an expression of the belief that with when a new year comes there is a chance for a new beginning, a fresh start.  This is what I am hoping for this coming year 2014, that I may be able to attain a fresh start in my journey towards fulfillment.  May the year 2014 be a great start for me to avoid saying the cursed statement “Loveless Talaga!”  As I am enjoying the blast of the firecrackers in the streets, which I consider as an eargasm for my ears (hahahaha), may this 2014 be a blessing and a grace for me to move on and to start settling up the mess in me with joy and humility of heart.  Oh God shine on me and may Your love be my greatest consolation in this coming year 2014.

When darkness turns to Light, IT ENDS TONIGHT!  

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