I don’t know what will I write and post on my blog for I am confused which topic will inspire you most my dear readers. Actually, I have this inner eagerness of my being to inspire readers like you through blogging. Unfortunately, something hinders me in writing and expressing myself through blogging, i.e. fear. I consider fear as one of my greatest difficulty in life. As a matter of fact, I missed a lot of opportunities because of fear. Every time I risk something for the sake of new knowledge and growth, I cannot but stop risking because of fear. It is also fear that stopped my inner persistence to love unconditionally.
As I walk in the path called life, I cannot but admit the fact that in every fear that haunts me always, the fear of rejection is one of the most painful fears that block me to appreciate who I am and what I am capable for. Every time I do my very best to prove myself in front of the people who does not believe in my uniqueness and capacities, I feel so hopeless and naïve whenever fear succumbs me. Hey fear, when will be the right moment for the people to accept that I am also a unique and capable person, yet like them also, imperfect and fragile?
My friend fear, for so many years you are always inside of me, haunted me whenever the right time has arrived for me to show the light inside of me. But, could you mine to separate from me now because every time you are with me caressing my weaknesses I am always in despair. I feel always unlovable if you’re here by my side. Please grant me the freedom to express my whole self in front of the people who does not believe in me. Please give me the chance to love again cheerfully without any biases at all. I can live without you. Let the people around me accept me for what I am. To tell you frankly; you’re such a disgrace from me! I am sorry to tell these words to you, but I can’t take this sorrows anymore coming from you. For so many years I am always trembling and in pain because of you. My friends are always hopelessness and doubtful; would you mine to allow me also to befriend with faith, hope, and love?
Oh fear please stay away from me! Enough for the pains and sorrows that I experienced for so many years! I cannot go on if you’re still at my side. Let me experience freedom and happiness instead of closure and sorrow. Oh fear I don’t like anymore to be coward and stupid in the eyes of so many people around me.